I opened this blog as spur of the moment thing, believing I would take the world by storm (or something like it). Things did not go as planned, my mania did not last (like it never does) and the blog died. I tried to write several blog posts, but none of them felt right and life got in the way.
The thing is, I have not being having a great time lately. Last summer my normal summer high did not come until august, when it was almost time for my regular “low” period to set in. It sort of carried over to this year, and I try my best to keep my schedule but I fail terribly and my gym-life suffered for it (Though I did mange to get a Gym Instructor certification over the summer).
However, I have sat myself down and had a talk with myself, and I have decided to give this site one more go, and commit to it. My commitment might be minimal, but it is a start. The commitment I made to myself is that I will try to the best of my ability to write one blog post a month. So let us see how September goes.
Keep taking it one lift at a time.
So I figured I would start this blog off by having a short introduction.
I am starting this blog to follow my own journey through mental health issues, archiving fitness and hopefully help others along the way.
For the last few years I depression has helped me dig a hole so deep I could almost bury myself in it. I got a diagnosis of bipolar disorder II about a year ago, which gave me a name to call my struggle but no new means to fight it.
This January and February I found myself again far below rock bottom, trying to remember last time getting out of bed did not feel like an unreachable accomplishment. When was the last time turning off the light at bedtime didn’t make it impossible for me to get up before noon.
It took a couple of tries, and it took changing my medication, but I could vaguely remember a time a few years back when it did not seem like I was looking at the world through a foggy glass. And I will not say that I have stumbled up on a magical cure for my condition, but I have found a way to cope with my illness.
In May I started to go back to the gym, doing something I know I am good at: lifting heavy things. Of course I had to start small, nowhere near I where I was back when. I started out feeling like a body weight squat would kill me, but slowly I got better and through perseverance I can now go through my day without a constant feeling of wanting to drop off the face of the earth.
Going to the gym is my crutch and for now I am clinging to it for my dear life. If I am having a bad day, I know that I can make it more tolerable, one lift at a time.